Toxinex™: For the New You

Do you sometimes feel a little blue? Do you occasionally think that your life may not be working out as you'd hoped, that you haven't quite met your potential? When you see a stranger laughing in a public place, does it ever occur to you that he could be laughing at you? Do you yawn simply because you are tired?

If you suffer from any of these troubling symptoms--and quite likely even if you do not--Toxinex™ may be for you. Toxinex™ is a psychoactive drug developed by Pfister Pharmaceutical and Munitions for the treatment of Sporadic Atypical Non-happy Ideation or Tired Yawning (SANITY) disorder.

Toxinex™ is not for everyone. Only your physician can determine whether Toxinex™ is right for you. Visit your physician today and insist that he prescribe Toxinex™ so that he can determine whether Toxinex™ is right for you. Do not take 'no' for an answer; amenability is a leading indicator of SANITY disorder.

Side effects of Toxinex™ may include one or more of the following: rapid hair growth, dry heaves, acute pain in the testicles or labia, development of a tail, profound enlargement of the eyes and/or tongue, spontaneous and frequent orgasm, kidney and liver failure, suicidal thoughts, hearing voices, acute depression, and an irresistible urge to procure an automatic weapon and take out every last bastard at the nearest McDonalds, starting with the one who was laughing at you the last time you were there. If you experience any of these symptoms, contact your physician to determine whether you should increase or, God forbid, decrease your dosage of Toxinex. Under no circumstances should you discontinue the use of Toxinex™; Toxinex™ changes the chemistry of your cells so that they can no longer form cell walls without Toxinex™. Cessation of Toxinex™ usage typically results in immediate and painful death by internal hemorrhaging.

Toxinex™: For the New You. Ask your doctor for it today, lose your SANITY tomorrow. The first bottle's free!